Bay Area Haunt Update 2019
Bay Area, CA
Intern here! Albert sent me to the Bay for the weekend to cover two haunts we’ve covered before. I wanted to go cover Knott’s Berry Farm, but he said I’m too much of a—and I quote—”wimpy ass bitch” who “can’t handle the jump scare from a jack in the box.”
Whatever. I’ll have you know I made it through the Haunted Mansion graveyard scene without flinching ONCE at those pop up headstone ghosts. Who’s the wimpy ass bitch now, ALBERT?!
Anyway, here’s the skinny on two of the haunts from the Bay Area.
Winchester Mystery House
This show is not family friendly like last year’s Candlelight Tours. Gone is the elegance and build-up, replaced by an emphasis on hard scares. Don’t take your kids if they get frightened easily. It’s a massive departure from what the house is during daytime tours and even from the tone of last year’s event, which—though it did have some jump scares—built upon the ambiance and eeriness of the house.
Unhinged. Not sure if that’s the name of the tour, the projection mapping, or state of whoever decided it’d be cool to show the house burning down—more than once.
When they announced Unhinged at Midsummer Scream, the Winchester team said nothing about the story. After going through, I guess I see why. The story lacks a lot and leaves you more confused than anything. TL/DR: you start out on a tour set in modern time, but then some how the house comes “alive” and then shows you all the victims it’s taken over the years with no linear context. It’s essentially “Scenes from a Murderous House Hat.” When you end the tour, you then are somehow captured by Slender Man (yes, really) and the house has now taken YOU as victim. With a quick exit, it’s over.
That said, there are some really well done effects, and on the technical side of things, some fun tricks to play. The house itself lends well to that, so it’s good to see them lean into it. There are some moments that look great visually, even if they don’t make a lot of sense narratively.
There’s also a projection mapping show now done by the fabulously talented Paintscaping crew. But again, it’s a departure from what built the house in the first place historically, considering they burn it down in the show. There’s an axe throwing thing now, and the ancillary experiences cost you more than anything you’d get, even at Disneyland (like a $15 for 15 minutes palm reading). The best part about Halloween this year at the house is the gingerbread model of the house built by Christine McConnell. Outside of that, you’re forking over $50 for a tour that doesn’t even last an hour.
Now that we got that out of the way, let’s move on.
California’s Great America’s Haunt
California’s Great America always puts on a fun show. This year, while there’s no new full-fledge haunt mazes, it’s great to see such a fun lineup stay strong. Backwoods, Tooth Fairy (a Knott’s classic, revived and sent North just last year), Zombie High and so many more make the park stand on their own with some fun stories to tell.
Not California’s Adventure
Easily one of the best B&M’s. Such a punchy, intense ride with a really fun layout.
DIZZZZZZZY LIZZY
Chaos House is a fun house of mirrors that really can disorient the hell out of you. This one isn’t so much scary as it is stressful. Maybe that adds to the fear, because I inevitably get anxious the longer I’m in there.
Roadkill Cafe: AKA what Fresno would look like if it had cannibals.
The last few years, this one would have been the weakest point for me. Scares were limited to slam cans and loud yelling. But this year, there were some actors that turned corners and got some great jumps out of me. Probably the best experience I’ve had yet…
BRAAAAAINS
The last few times I’ve been to Zombie High, they haven’t had the bungee scare. It’s easily the best effect of the maze and gets SO many guests. Overall though, this one is just a damn fun time. Great theming and some really effective scares.
Backwoods is still such a great haunt. Built inside their old IMAX building, you traverse planked walkways from shack to shack as monsters hunt you down. It’s classic campy style but done really, really well. Plus, since the ceiling is so high, you really feel like you’re outdoors.
PS other haunts: DO MORE OF THESE.
Overall, the haunts up here are still good. CGA is doing a fantastic job, and while this year was ‘quiet', I hope and expect to see more additions over the next couple of years, especially with what other capital improvements they’re doing to the park (hey team reading this because I totes know you are: how many likes do we have to get to have Albert ride down the new water slides in a speedo?).
Anyway, that’s all I got. I have to catch a flight back to L.A where I inevitably will return to my supply closet. Jim barely let me out for this one, because I’m apparently grounded for playing Shania Twain’s “Don’t Be Stupid (You Know I Love You)” too many times in one day.
